Ok, so no, I don't actually freak out about the having kids part since we've been doing this parenting thing for 11 years now, but I'm definitely not used to the middle school thing yet. I remember middle school. I remember learning how to unlock my locker and find my way around the building and waving to friends in the hall and having my first few core groups of friends (that, true to middle school form, changed as often as the wind). I remember not wanting to ever walk in the bathrooms and lamenting the loss of recess and how we made fun of our 6th grade math teacher for always carrying a book in the back of his pants (I ask you still to this day - who does that?!). I remember having the biggest crush on Brian Finlay and his beautiful head of white-blond hair in 7th grade and never speaking to him ever. I remember going to the 8th grade dance with sweet Danny Slusser (a perfect gentleman) and a big group of my friends. I remember having fun*, which I know is more than many people can say about their middle school years.
But although I had a pretty good experience with middle school, I witnessed enough horror stories while I was there, and have heard enough from friends who already have middle schoolers, to put a constant nagging fear in the back of my mind.
What if my kids have a horrible experience with middle school?!
Because usually, the worst part of middle school isn't the building or the classes or the teachers**.... it's the kids. It seems as though something happens in their brains - the warming temperature of the pre-teen body causes some little bug to hatch and it starts slowly eating away at the side of the brain that controls logic and rational thinking. They become irritable and moody and sometimes mean. They make decisions that they know will get them in trouble and look at you like you have three heads when you call them out on it and lay down a punishment.
You may be wondering how I know this? Because that was me, of course. I was irritable. I was moody. I was mean to my sisters. When my parents called me out on something, I looked at them like they had three heads. I remember.
So when Tommy turned into a boy who was seemingly being eaten by the middle school bug way back in June, just a few weeks shy of his 11th birthday, I thought, "Well, here we go. Payback." He was moody, and mean to Annabel, and he had a comeback for every single sentence I spoke to him. I will admit that I remember looking at him one day and thinking, "I love him, but I don't like him very much right now." Yikes. That's not a sentence I thought I would ever think about my own child.
But true to Tommy form (this truly happens every year without fail), on the Saturday after his birthday, he completely snapped out of it. Sure, he still didn't want to play with Annabel much and he still didn't like it when I had to take his iPod away for two weeks. But generally, my sweet, hilarious boy came back to me and has handled the transition to middle school far better than I have. When I was nervous, he was quietly confident. When I was overprotective, he gently pushed back until I took a step back. When I was too serious, he cracked a ridiculous joke. And I remember looking at him one day and thinking, "I love him, and I like him. And he's ready." He's ready to navigate the halls and figure out a locker (although there are no hallway lockers in his new school - just gym and band) and wave to his friends and figure out who his core group will be. He's ready to decide whether or not to brave the bathrooms and be sad about no recess and laugh about one of his teachers. He's ready to avoid girls he thinks are pretty and go to a dance with friends (and maybe a date...maybe). He's ready.
He really likes middle school so far, and the crazy thing is, I do, too. Crazy because in addition to knowing how middle school kids can lose their minds, I have always been nervous about this age because my sweet spot with kids is birth until about age 5. That's where I feel most comfortable. Babies are my favorite favorite favorite. But much to my own surprise, I am finding middle schoolers to be a sweet, silly group of kids who are sometimes moody and mostly FUN. Tommy and I laugh together every day, we talk about school, I help him with his homework, he tells me about his friends. So far I am really loving this time in my son's life. My attitude has done a complete 180, and I am so so grateful. Grateful to Tommy for being patient with me. Grateful to Will for laughing off my ridiculous overprotective tendencies and helping me chill out a little. Grateful to Annabel for always holding my hand. Grateful to God for continuing to expand my heart and my mind in new and surprising ways. Growing up is a beautiful, amazing thing, whether you're a brand new 11 year old middle school kid, or a 36 year old mother who still has so much to learn.
*It was all fun and games until I got a wild hair and decided to get bangs in 8th grade. A word of advice to all the moms out there who have daughters with curly hair. DO NOT let them get bangs. EVER. Unless you want to fight them at least twice a week on going to school because they are totally embarrassed by their hair sick.
**I did have a few interesting experiences with teachers. Example: My German teacher once called me "sassy" when I turned in a test without finishing it because I had to leave for an away basketball game. When he handed the test back to me and told me to sit down and keep working, I put it down on his desk, told him that that would make me miss the bus, and turned around and walked out. Does that make me sassy?! Oops?
This made me tear up!! :) Thanks for sharing <3 (i'm not sure why it's having me post as anonymous but it's Brigid)
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